Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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