I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
