No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
