dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have demons in me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
