I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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