maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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