You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
