dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
