Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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