Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
