Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
