where am i from again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
