hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
