just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
