Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
