A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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