The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
