Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize