bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
