It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
