I'm eating all of the evidence.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize