i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
