remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
