It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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