I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize