Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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