he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
