Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
