ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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