Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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