Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
