shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
