just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
