At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They took my balls.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
