i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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