It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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