The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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