Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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