either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
