and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
