Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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