On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can't put those talents on a resume
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
