Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My hand turned me down
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
