I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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