I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
