What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
