I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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