Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
