party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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