she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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