he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
