Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
