Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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