in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
