been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
