Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
