I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
false alarm, still single
The air taste purple.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
