is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
