Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize