There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
