Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
