4 words: hood of his car
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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