Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
