That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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