I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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