Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
