Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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