So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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