Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
